The ladies have been doing a study on Titus for the last four weeks. This upcoming week will be the last week. Anyway...I had a difficult time really getting into this the first couple of weeks. Part of it could be that the first week we started I was getting ready for youth camp, and then I was actually at camp the second week. And last week, well I just wasn't totally there.
This week definitely caught my attention. We talked about the commands that Titus gives to the women, particularly older women. First, Titus explains the behavior older women are to exhibit in Titus 2:3: behavior fitting for those who are holy, not slandering, not slaves to excessive drinking, but teaching what is good. Verses 4 and 5 describes the things that the older women are to train the younger women in: to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, to fulfill their duties at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands. There were a few things mentioned Thursday night that have stuck with me.
First, I had never seen the command for older women to train the younger women. With that being said...The summer after I joined RBF, Jeni began to meet with me. We read through a book written by Chuck Swindoll, "Growing Deep: Exploring the Roots of Our Faith". This was the begining of her joining me in my walk with the Lord. What's funny is that it wasn't until two or three months later that I truly came to trust Christ. But by then, Jeni had began to show me what my walk with the Lord should be like. It has now been 3 years since she and I first began to meet, and she continues to train/mentor/disciple me. Jeni never seemed to feel like she had to get together with me or answer my questions. Kindnes and love is how I've always looked at it.
I have to note, though, that Jeni hasn't been the only one that has impacted my walk with the Lord. A couple of friends from church have, in my honest opinion, set a great examples to what a my life, as a Christian woman, should loo like. They probably haven't known it, but I have observed the things they say, the things they do, the way they interact with their kids, they way they talk about their husbands, life at home, etc. They might say, "You may not want to observe me!" But so far, they haven't given me a reason to question what they do or say.
With that thought, I now understand why the Bible commands us to do what is right in God's eyes and follow his commands, so that our actions don't discredit his Word and show who Christ is through us.
My only question now is am I ready to train someone younger than me. I have been praying about working with the youth, particularly the girls. I've been praying about this since before going to camp, and I feel that I have an answer but am scared to give it. I have to say that I may not be committing because I am afraid that I may not be ready to do this. But I read something that Kelley wrote for crosswalk.com this week on the same topic, and it hasn't left my mind. She quoted Norma Becker (someone I'd never heard of) and wrote this, "When a younger woman asking to be mentored suggested they pray about it, Norma responded with assurance: “We don't pray about commands".
So am I not following God's command or am I thinking in the right way? Should I not think and just say yes? Which is the right answer? As neat as the study was this week, is my heart not in the right place regarding this?
Friday, July 28, 2006
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Random Questions....
I met w/J on Saturday to discuss two books that she had given me. I had a good time, we hadn't really spent anytime together all summer long, from what I can remember. So anyway...I had a few questions to her regarding I Kissed Dating Goodbye as well as the book of James in the Bible (the book I'm reading in the Bible right now). We started talking about the home life and I totally forgot about my questions. So I thought I'd put them up here and see what kind of responses I would receive. :)
I Kissed Dating Goodbye:
Joshua Harris speaks in one of his chapters about pollutants, "things God will ask us to remove from our hearts concerning the dating mentality." He states that one is infatuation. He states, "After placing God first in our lives, we need to continue to avoid infatuation by resolving not to feed attraction...attraction only grows into infatuation when we pamper it."And he goes on to say, "Each time we find ourselves attracted to someone, we have a choice to either leave it at attraction or allow our imaginations to carry us away." So my question(s) regarding infatuation/attraction is this: How is attraction fed? How do you leave attraction at attraction and not allow our imaginations to carry us away?
James (the Bible):
James 1:5-9 - James talks about asking God when we want to know what He wants us to do, when seeking wisdom. He starts off by saying, "If you need wisdom - if you want to know what God wants you to do - ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking." Then he continues by stating that if you ask God, to be sure you expect Him to answer. He then compares the doubtful mind to being "as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind." He continues to state thhat people that are doubtful shouldn't expect to receive anything, because they can't make up their minds. So here's my question: A "doubtful mind", isn't that simply someone that doesn't have faith in God, Him answering, or in His response? Because it seems that if they trusted what God was telling them, they wouldn't have to struggle with making up their minds.
I'd ask another James question, but I'm still thinking about it in my mind....
I Kissed Dating Goodbye:
Joshua Harris speaks in one of his chapters about pollutants, "things God will ask us to remove from our hearts concerning the dating mentality." He states that one is infatuation. He states, "After placing God first in our lives, we need to continue to avoid infatuation by resolving not to feed attraction...attraction only grows into infatuation when we pamper it."And he goes on to say, "Each time we find ourselves attracted to someone, we have a choice to either leave it at attraction or allow our imaginations to carry us away." So my question(s) regarding infatuation/attraction is this: How is attraction fed? How do you leave attraction at attraction and not allow our imaginations to carry us away?
James (the Bible):
James 1:5-9 - James talks about asking God when we want to know what He wants us to do, when seeking wisdom. He starts off by saying, "If you need wisdom - if you want to know what God wants you to do - ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking." Then he continues by stating that if you ask God, to be sure you expect Him to answer. He then compares the doubtful mind to being "as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind." He continues to state thhat people that are doubtful shouldn't expect to receive anything, because they can't make up their minds. So here's my question: A "doubtful mind", isn't that simply someone that doesn't have faith in God, Him answering, or in His response? Because it seems that if they trusted what God was telling them, they wouldn't have to struggle with making up their minds.
I'd ask another James question, but I'm still thinking about it in my mind....
Friday, July 21, 2006
One month left....
The excitement of Commerce is starting to creep up. I have one month before I head back to school. Although I do wonder how this semester will be...
I will now be living in the high rise building of Commerce, the tallest building there is, which is quite funny for everyone there. My dorm will be more of an "apartment" type feeling, although the room is actually just two rooms put together to make on. But I'll have a living room, my own closet, and one bathroom and shower. I'll get to share this with a friend that I met last semester. We are very excited. Although considering the circumstances of what happened last semester with the other friend, I have faith that this time things are going to be ok. I can't explain why. I know why, but would rather not say. But anyway, all my friends and me will be living in the same building. I'm so looking forward to that.
I'll also be working throughout this semester. I am wondering how that part will effect my school. I should say it isn't, because I learned the first two years of working with this school that I have to decide what is more important. I'd look for a job in Commerce, but there's no way I'd get paid as much as I do at this job. Well, actually, there is a job line up for me in Commerce with the districts transportation department. However, I had already told my boss that I'd be working in the fall, and she's already placed me somewhere in the new school. So I'm going to stick with it for as long as it allows me to stay on top of my school work. I've already looked ahead at the Spring, and it's looking like I may have to leave my job by then anyways. But we'll see.
I'll be taking four classes. I know I'll be doing a lot of reading, considering that my major is English. My classes seem pretty interesting: Contemporary Women Writers, Discipline of English, Survery of American Literature, and African-American Literature. Again, I know I'm going to be doing a lot of reading. :) And so far, by the sounds of it, one of my English major friends is going to be with me in every class, which I look forward to.
It's funny....I couldn't wait to come home for the summer, just because I missed it, my own room, my own bathroom, my house, my parents! But as soon as I came home, within a few weeks I was out in Maryland, then my mom left for 3 weeks to Mexico, I left for youth camp, I'll be leaving for Houston in a couple of weeks. So I have felt like I haven't come back to the normal life I had before leaving to Commerce. And in reality, I have missed being out in Commerce, on my own. I miss eating lunch and dinner with my friends, going over to Loma's and spending the afternoon there working on my piano/keyboard skills (LOL), watching movies with them, basically I miss my friends! I haven't really had to respond to anyone around here, considering if/when the folks are home, I'm out and about. But it's still different, I can't pinpoint what it is, but there's a difference. And all I can say is I can't wait to be back in Commerce in a month!
I will now be living in the high rise building of Commerce, the tallest building there is, which is quite funny for everyone there. My dorm will be more of an "apartment" type feeling, although the room is actually just two rooms put together to make on. But I'll have a living room, my own closet, and one bathroom and shower. I'll get to share this with a friend that I met last semester. We are very excited. Although considering the circumstances of what happened last semester with the other friend, I have faith that this time things are going to be ok. I can't explain why. I know why, but would rather not say. But anyway, all my friends and me will be living in the same building. I'm so looking forward to that.
I'll also be working throughout this semester. I am wondering how that part will effect my school. I should say it isn't, because I learned the first two years of working with this school that I have to decide what is more important. I'd look for a job in Commerce, but there's no way I'd get paid as much as I do at this job. Well, actually, there is a job line up for me in Commerce with the districts transportation department. However, I had already told my boss that I'd be working in the fall, and she's already placed me somewhere in the new school. So I'm going to stick with it for as long as it allows me to stay on top of my school work. I've already looked ahead at the Spring, and it's looking like I may have to leave my job by then anyways. But we'll see.
I'll be taking four classes. I know I'll be doing a lot of reading, considering that my major is English. My classes seem pretty interesting: Contemporary Women Writers, Discipline of English, Survery of American Literature, and African-American Literature. Again, I know I'm going to be doing a lot of reading. :) And so far, by the sounds of it, one of my English major friends is going to be with me in every class, which I look forward to.
It's funny....I couldn't wait to come home for the summer, just because I missed it, my own room, my own bathroom, my house, my parents! But as soon as I came home, within a few weeks I was out in Maryland, then my mom left for 3 weeks to Mexico, I left for youth camp, I'll be leaving for Houston in a couple of weeks. So I have felt like I haven't come back to the normal life I had before leaving to Commerce. And in reality, I have missed being out in Commerce, on my own. I miss eating lunch and dinner with my friends, going over to Loma's and spending the afternoon there working on my piano/keyboard skills (LOL), watching movies with them, basically I miss my friends! I haven't really had to respond to anyone around here, considering if/when the folks are home, I'm out and about. But it's still different, I can't pinpoint what it is, but there's a difference. And all I can say is I can't wait to be back in Commerce in a month!
Sunday, July 02, 2006
I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris
So about a month ago, Jeni and I were talking about this guy I was dating (its oficial that that is what we were doing after last nights conversation). Something happened in which I decided that it wasn't the best thing for me to be in at the moment. Jeni was a bit upset about the reason behind it (more along the lines of things that he had done, etc). As we were talking about it over Starbucks, she mentioned this book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. She said she had heard that it was a very good book.
A month later, here I am reading it, thanks to Jeni. I picked it up yesterday and read 5/6 chapters out of it. It's very interesting, I must say. He mentions that a lot of people know the book as the one that is telling girls to not date. But amazingly, the things he says are a lot of the things that I believe in (Erin, you may agree on some of these things too).
When I first started to talk to D, Kelley was kind enough to talk to me about barriers. The dating scene was fairly new to me, so I didn't know what to expect. One thing she told me was, "Have a physical barrier. You hug each other right now, but when you decide to hold hands, you can't go back as easily to just hugs. Then if you move to the next step, and say you kiss, it won't be easy to just holds hands anymore..." and so on. It was this nice of chain of "can't go back" to.
Joshua Harris states that "dating encourages romantic expectations." This is so true! I can only say that because even when I was uncertain what D and I were, all my friends would ask, "Have you kissed? Do you gus hold hands? Do you hold each other? What do you do?" These questions just simply brought on added pressures of not knowing what we were. And it reminded me of K physical barrier example. I was just, "Then what do I do? How do I know?" It was as if the phycial is what determined what we were. But Joshua Harris explains that the physical is what comes along with a commited relationship. Not one in which you're going to give part of yourself to one, and then another, and not whole-heartedly to the person you'll be with for the rest of your life. I really liked that.
K and E had both mentioned that going out in public places or group dating would be best. JH seems to agree with them. :) He says, "One-on-one dating has the tendency to move a guy and a girl beyond friendship and toward romance too quickly." And on top of that, he mentions "We don't ask for a level of intimacy and emotional loyalty that goes beyond our true level of commitment. If we're not able to deepin in commitment and pursue the possibility of marriage, we should halt the progression of intimacy at the friendship stage."
I really liked that last statement, because it just goes with how I feel about dating. I felt like I was ready to date, but now I see that it isn't dating what I want. I'm looking for more, for someone that is seeking the same level of commitment that I am. And I don't mean short term. Yeah, dating may help me find that one person. But if the person I am interested in, or is interested in me, is not seeking the same thing I am, why waist my time? That time I could be devoting to other things, like school, work, church, GOD!
Dating to me is when you're with the person that is seeking the same commitment you are seeking. And this book is definitely agreeing with me on that part. Joshua Harris isn't so much telling girl to not date! On the other hand, it seems that he's showing them what dating really involves, what the expectations are, and where one can go wrong in dating. And the way he puts things, it makes sense. It's like he says, "[But] ultimately my goal isn't to convince you to stop dating. I want to help you examine the aspects of your life that dating touches-the way you treat others, the way you prepare for your future mate, your personal purity-and look at what it means to bring these areas in line with God's word."
I remember asking friends, "Okay, so is there a book on dating out there that tells me right from wrong? Or how to date? Or a manual of some sort?" This isn't exactly a manual, but it's definitely a great book on dating and entrusting one's love life to God. This is exactly what I need several months ago! And so I shall continue to read it...
Oh, and D and I finally talked last night. After about three hours, I was finally able to say, "It's best if you prepare to move, and I look to what God has lined up for me." I did agree to go out with him before he leaves, but as a group thing or somewhere in public. But we'll see if that really happens.
A month later, here I am reading it, thanks to Jeni. I picked it up yesterday and read 5/6 chapters out of it. It's very interesting, I must say. He mentions that a lot of people know the book as the one that is telling girls to not date. But amazingly, the things he says are a lot of the things that I believe in (Erin, you may agree on some of these things too).
When I first started to talk to D, Kelley was kind enough to talk to me about barriers. The dating scene was fairly new to me, so I didn't know what to expect. One thing she told me was, "Have a physical barrier. You hug each other right now, but when you decide to hold hands, you can't go back as easily to just hugs. Then if you move to the next step, and say you kiss, it won't be easy to just holds hands anymore..." and so on. It was this nice of chain of "can't go back" to.
Joshua Harris states that "dating encourages romantic expectations." This is so true! I can only say that because even when I was uncertain what D and I were, all my friends would ask, "Have you kissed? Do you gus hold hands? Do you hold each other? What do you do?" These questions just simply brought on added pressures of not knowing what we were. And it reminded me of K physical barrier example. I was just, "Then what do I do? How do I know?" It was as if the phycial is what determined what we were. But Joshua Harris explains that the physical is what comes along with a commited relationship. Not one in which you're going to give part of yourself to one, and then another, and not whole-heartedly to the person you'll be with for the rest of your life. I really liked that.
K and E had both mentioned that going out in public places or group dating would be best. JH seems to agree with them. :) He says, "One-on-one dating has the tendency to move a guy and a girl beyond friendship and toward romance too quickly." And on top of that, he mentions "We don't ask for a level of intimacy and emotional loyalty that goes beyond our true level of commitment. If we're not able to deepin in commitment and pursue the possibility of marriage, we should halt the progression of intimacy at the friendship stage."
I really liked that last statement, because it just goes with how I feel about dating. I felt like I was ready to date, but now I see that it isn't dating what I want. I'm looking for more, for someone that is seeking the same level of commitment that I am. And I don't mean short term. Yeah, dating may help me find that one person. But if the person I am interested in, or is interested in me, is not seeking the same thing I am, why waist my time? That time I could be devoting to other things, like school, work, church, GOD!
Dating to me is when you're with the person that is seeking the same commitment you are seeking. And this book is definitely agreeing with me on that part. Joshua Harris isn't so much telling girl to not date! On the other hand, it seems that he's showing them what dating really involves, what the expectations are, and where one can go wrong in dating. And the way he puts things, it makes sense. It's like he says, "[But] ultimately my goal isn't to convince you to stop dating. I want to help you examine the aspects of your life that dating touches-the way you treat others, the way you prepare for your future mate, your personal purity-and look at what it means to bring these areas in line with God's word."
I remember asking friends, "Okay, so is there a book on dating out there that tells me right from wrong? Or how to date? Or a manual of some sort?" This isn't exactly a manual, but it's definitely a great book on dating and entrusting one's love life to God. This is exactly what I need several months ago! And so I shall continue to read it...
Oh, and D and I finally talked last night. After about three hours, I was finally able to say, "It's best if you prepare to move, and I look to what God has lined up for me." I did agree to go out with him before he leaves, but as a group thing or somewhere in public. But we'll see if that really happens.
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