this weekend, my family (my husband & baby) and i took a short trip to oklahoma city to visit a special family. i finally had the chance to introduce my husband to my former pastor and his wife: a wonderful married couple, parents, and more importantly, friends. and they were able to also meet my sweet baby. i don't know how to begin to explain what emotions this past weekend has brought over me, emotions that i haven't been able to set free. why such strong emotions?...
in 2002, i began to attend this wonderful little church in rowlett, rowlett bible fellowship (formerly creekside bible fellowship). when i began to attend, i did not know what i was doing there. i had been invited by a friend, and because i don't know how to say no, i went. the instant i attended their first service, something came over me that made me feel like i was at home.
by like the second or third service, i had met jeni and lance. it didn't take long for me to feel comfortable with them. and it wasn't long before i learned what my purpose was for attending this church. my purpose was so that Christ could put them in my life to tell me about him, so that i may one day come to believe and trust completely in him, and give my life to him. They are the ones that led me to Christ, and guided me throughout my spiritual life. if it wasn't for them, i wouldn't have the assurance of where i'm going when my life on this world ends.
my relationship continued with them when i went off to college, but everything changed for me there. i had moved away, and was no longer in a place where i could be held accountable, it was easy for me to not tell the truth. ultimately, i walked away from the awesome path that i had been walking on. i didn't talk as often to jeni, who had been my guide for the past 3 or 4 years. before i knew it, 2 years had passed, i had graduated, moved away, gotten married, and now sit where i am now, with a baby to take care of. in all that time, i hadn't forgotten about jeni, i just never made the time.
in spite of all that, she continued to be a friend to me. she showed me so much love even when i didn't deserve it. next thing i know, my baby is born prematurely, and she's letting me know that they are praying, and helping us out as best as they can. it was amazing to see how much she still cared for me, and now for my family.
this was the first weekend that we were able to get away, just the 3 of us. the first place i asked if we could go was oklahoma, to visit them. as we pulled up, and i saw my friends outside, i wanted nothing more than to cry. i had been through so much, and because of the distance, i wasn't able to have that friend there to comfort and carry me through my baby's NICU stay. i had many of my other church friends still, but she was the one that somehow always knew what to say to give me the strength i needed to trust that God was doing what was best. she teared up, she started crying, i just don't cry in front of people. but every part of me wanted to cry.
none the less, we spent a wonderful weekend with them. my husband got to meet them and know them more. he know understands why i like them so much, but more importantly why i love them as much as i do. if only i could demonstrate it to them some how. i hated having to leave, i hated having to say the good-byes and leave my friends behind as we drove 3 1/2 hours home. i'd do anything to have them close by again. but i guess the weekend trips will have to do. i'll simply be able to build more memories and not focus only on what used to be, but focus on what potentially could be...
