So you'll see pictures below of the places we've been to. But I had to include these two...
Finally, Steve in a picture!
And you thought Erin was the calm one!!! (Yes, that is a knife in her hands). See what I had to deal with....just kidding!
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Pic 1
Wednesday: Harpers Ferry, West Virginia
On the bridge, actually crossing back to Maryland from Harpers Ferry, in West Virginia.
View from Maryland side to West Virginia side(if I remember correctly)
Half way from Maryland to Harpers Ferry, West Virginia
View of the street we walked down in Harpers Ferry....
Another view of the street
One of the beautiful homes in Harpers Ferry
This is a house that's for sale. It's actually a coffee shop. As Erin pointed out, what could be better, great view, nice structure, and with a COFFEE SHOP alread built!!! :)
View from St. Peter's Church in Harpers Ferry, W. Virginia
Another view from St. Peter's Church-Guess who that is!
Pics 2
St. Peter's Church
Ellie looking for shells.
Rebekah trying to catch the juping bugs
Anna playing in the river.
Coffe shop in Ferederick that Erin took me to.
Thursday: 3 hr. scenic drive
Erin with little Anna
Rebekah, Ellie, and Anna at the North Frederick Overlook
One of many country homes we came across, but this one struck me for some reason more than the others. I thought it was cute. This was on the road we took as we tried to find scenic spots.
Rebekah and I getting ready to take pictures of Zoobooks.
Ms. Ellie and me...awww...sweet Ellie
4 days down, 2 more to go....how sad!
Lightning bugs, as I called them when I was little. How ironic, I see them as it's raining. Well, now it's more like a drizzle. The weather is awesome right now compared to what it was earlier.
We went for a drive today! It was the most beautiful thing I've seen. We stopped at the "North Frederick Overlook". It was great, with the exception of the hazziness that surrounds this area; Erin says its the humidity. Besides that, the view was spectacular.
We continued on looking for another scenic stop, and followed signs, but never found them. On the other hand, we discovered that we were leaving Maryland and entering Pennsylvania. So thats four states that I have visited in five days! (Virginia, Maryland, West Virginia, and Pennsylvania)
We stopped at a park and played/snacked for a bit. That was fun! Rebekah and I swung on the swings. I had not been on swings in so many years! I even jumped out of it! Anna was very bold, she went up the big slide (I mean the tall slide!) several times. She obviously isn't scared of much....oh, except Thunder and cars! :)
Afterwards, we continued on to find our way back. It took us a bit, since I don't know anything about Penn., and neither did Erin. But eventually we discovered the way back to Frederick. It was still fun, just simply by driving. It was very nice of Erin to be willing to just drive around for such a long time. She ended up driving for almost 3 hours. The adventure was great.
Yesterday, we went down to Harpers Ferry in West Virginia. It's a neat little place; the Potomac and Shenandoah River meet up and gives people quick access to Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland. We crossed over to West Virginia from Maryland on this bridge, which is also a railroad. Don't worry, there was a "sidewalk" for us to use.
The little historic town of Harpers Ferry is great! If I understood Erin correctly, not a lot of people live in the area that we visited, its more a place for tourist to come and visit. I saw several houses I would not mind buying if I had the money! I couldn't help it, the place is beautiful.
After going through several of the little museums and walking around the town, the girls enjoyed themselves in the river. That was fun to watch. After seeing little fish swimming around, I decided that I wasn't going to take my shoes off and stick my feet in the ground. Can you imagine, setting my foot down and squishing a fish. Gross!
We headed home in the afternoon. The girls went with Steve to karate, while Erin and I hung out at the house. Erin and I took a stroll down the street, as Anna walked her tea set in her little play stroller. Too cute!
When Steve and the girls got back, Erin and I headed into Fredrick to a coffee shop. Cute little place! We got it to go, then walked around what I think was the downtown area. The houses are awesome! It's like they are glued together! I saw a few there I wouldn't mind living at as well!
I really enjoyed that time that she and I had to go out on our own. I love the girls and all, but it was nice. We were simply able to enjoy each other's company. When we got back home, we had a great heart to heart conversation about dating, among other things.
My week here is almost over! I only have a day and a half, one if you're reading this on Friday. I love everything I've seen. We haven't been to D.C., but to be totally honest, I wouldn't mind just hanging around here and looking outside the windows! :) And my time with Erin and the family has been great! I've enjoyed my time with the girls, playing with little Anna, the girls coming into my room at night the last two nights, playing with Rebekah on the swing set, and the many other little details one may not look at as memorable.
I started off by mentioning the rain. It started raining early in the evening. And the thing that usually causes great joy, the rain, caused some sadness. Why did the rain make me think of this, I don't know, but I'll be going back to Texas, and they won't! But hey, there's always next year...road trip!!! :P
We went for a drive today! It was the most beautiful thing I've seen. We stopped at the "North Frederick Overlook". It was great, with the exception of the hazziness that surrounds this area; Erin says its the humidity. Besides that, the view was spectacular.
We continued on looking for another scenic stop, and followed signs, but never found them. On the other hand, we discovered that we were leaving Maryland and entering Pennsylvania. So thats four states that I have visited in five days! (Virginia, Maryland, West Virginia, and Pennsylvania)
We stopped at a park and played/snacked for a bit. That was fun! Rebekah and I swung on the swings. I had not been on swings in so many years! I even jumped out of it! Anna was very bold, she went up the big slide (I mean the tall slide!) several times. She obviously isn't scared of much....oh, except Thunder and cars! :)
Afterwards, we continued on to find our way back. It took us a bit, since I don't know anything about Penn., and neither did Erin. But eventually we discovered the way back to Frederick. It was still fun, just simply by driving. It was very nice of Erin to be willing to just drive around for such a long time. She ended up driving for almost 3 hours. The adventure was great.
Yesterday, we went down to Harpers Ferry in West Virginia. It's a neat little place; the Potomac and Shenandoah River meet up and gives people quick access to Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland. We crossed over to West Virginia from Maryland on this bridge, which is also a railroad. Don't worry, there was a "sidewalk" for us to use.
The little historic town of Harpers Ferry is great! If I understood Erin correctly, not a lot of people live in the area that we visited, its more a place for tourist to come and visit. I saw several houses I would not mind buying if I had the money! I couldn't help it, the place is beautiful.
After going through several of the little museums and walking around the town, the girls enjoyed themselves in the river. That was fun to watch. After seeing little fish swimming around, I decided that I wasn't going to take my shoes off and stick my feet in the ground. Can you imagine, setting my foot down and squishing a fish. Gross!
We headed home in the afternoon. The girls went with Steve to karate, while Erin and I hung out at the house. Erin and I took a stroll down the street, as Anna walked her tea set in her little play stroller. Too cute!
When Steve and the girls got back, Erin and I headed into Fredrick to a coffee shop. Cute little place! We got it to go, then walked around what I think was the downtown area. The houses are awesome! It's like they are glued together! I saw a few there I wouldn't mind living at as well!
I really enjoyed that time that she and I had to go out on our own. I love the girls and all, but it was nice. We were simply able to enjoy each other's company. When we got back home, we had a great heart to heart conversation about dating, among other things.
My week here is almost over! I only have a day and a half, one if you're reading this on Friday. I love everything I've seen. We haven't been to D.C., but to be totally honest, I wouldn't mind just hanging around here and looking outside the windows! :) And my time with Erin and the family has been great! I've enjoyed my time with the girls, playing with little Anna, the girls coming into my room at night the last two nights, playing with Rebekah on the swing set, and the many other little details one may not look at as memorable.
I started off by mentioning the rain. It started raining early in the evening. And the thing that usually causes great joy, the rain, caused some sadness. Why did the rain make me think of this, I don't know, but I'll be going back to Texas, and they won't! But hey, there's always next year...road trip!!! :P
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Relaxing moments...
This morning was wonderful. I slept in a bit more than usual. Erin and I had decided the night before that today would be a day to take it easy. After so much excitement Sunday night and all the activities from Monday, it was well deserved for her and the girls.
So this morning, I sat around the table drinking coffee, while looking out at her enormous backyard and two beautiful weeping willow trees. We started talking about retreat stuff, and ended up sitting next to each other looking on each others computers for some ideas. She brainstormed on things that she could do for her craft, while I looked for pictures. It was neat, at least for me. It was one of those moments where the silence between friends is perfectly okay.
Anna boo decided to take a nap, she's had a bit of the sniffles. As soon as she woke up, we got ready and headed out to the library to drop off some books, and to Wal-Mart, to return everything. We picked up some things that she needed and quickly made our way back home. The girls were anxious to play in their slip-n-slide.
As soon as we walked in the door, the girls ran to get on their bathing suits.
Anna was in such a rush I could barely put on her bathing suit. She was ready to go!
Erin went out and set up the slip-n-slide while I sat inside and worked on some stuff. I eventually went outside and sat to watch the girls play while Erin went in and worked on some brownies (how I love her so!).
I could see from Erin's front yard that the neighbor had a great view, a picture perfect view of the types of pictures I like to take. I didn't want to walk through their yard because I wasn't certain if it would be okay (now I know it is). So I decided to take a walk down the street to see if I could have the same view. Anna wouldn't leave my side while she was playin in the water. I offered for her to join me, but she said in a very cute way no. I started to walk down the driveway when I hear a tiny person running behind me screaming. It was little Anna, wanting to go for a walk.
I couldn't help but admire another one of God's creation, the trees. I love how they cover Erin's driveway. They just make it look so relaxing. And like I mentioned, they are everywhere!
So this morning, I sat around the table drinking coffee, while looking out at her enormous backyard and two beautiful weeping willow trees. We started talking about retreat stuff, and ended up sitting next to each other looking on each others computers for some ideas. She brainstormed on things that she could do for her craft, while I looked for pictures. It was neat, at least for me. It was one of those moments where the silence between friends is perfectly okay.
Anna boo decided to take a nap, she's had a bit of the sniffles. As soon as she woke up, we got ready and headed out to the library to drop off some books, and to Wal-Mart, to return everything. We picked up some things that she needed and quickly made our way back home. The girls were anxious to play in their slip-n-slide.
As soon as we walked in the door, the girls ran to get on their bathing suits.Anna was in such a rush I could barely put on her bathing suit. She was ready to go!
Erin went out and set up the slip-n-slide while I sat inside and worked on some stuff. I eventually went outside and sat to watch the girls play while Erin went in and worked on some brownies (how I love her so!).
I could see from Erin's front yard that the neighbor had a great view, a picture perfect view of the types of pictures I like to take. I didn't want to walk through their yard because I wasn't certain if it would be okay (now I know it is). So I decided to take a walk down the street to see if I could have the same view. Anna wouldn't leave my side while she was playin in the water. I offered for her to join me, but she said in a very cute way no. I started to walk down the driveway when I hear a tiny person running behind me screaming. It was little Anna, wanting to go for a walk.
I couldn't help but admire another one of God's creation, the trees. I love how they cover Erin's driveway. They just make it look so relaxing. And like I mentioned, they are everywhere!
As Anna and I were walking (or me carrying Anna as I walked), we heard a rabbit come out from behind the trees. Anna kept saying, "unny, unny". How cute, right? We tried to get closer. We did manage to get pretty close, but Anna's "unny" was too loud for the "unny" to not run. So we got back on the driveway and headed to the street.
It was so relaxing to just look at all the green surrounding me. It reminded me of Psalms 23:2,3a "He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me besides quiet waters, he restores my soul." It's funny because on my way here, while I was up above the awesome clouds, I began to pray. I didn't pray for my safety, or that the plane wouldn't come crashing down and kill us all. I asked the Lord that this time away would not only be a time of just reconnecting with friends, but also that it would be an opportunity to reconnect with Him! And it's like he's answering my prayer. I am just in awe of it all. He's using His creations to bring me closer to Him, as I look at even the smallest of critters and realize that they are here because of Him. Then to look up at the hills and the trees, and the grass, and everything that isn't visible because of all the buildings surrounding Dallas....
Anyways...enough of that. And more of this.....
Monday, May 29, 2006
Day 1 in Maryland!
Well, after the ordeal with my suitcase missing when arriving to D.C., things went great. As soon as my bag arrived at Erin's parents' house, we left! We were going to return the things I'd bought the night before, but there were at least 20 people in the customer service line. We decided to go get some water for the days event...the zoo!
We ended up at the zoo a little after noon. It was definitely a hot
day! I couldn't tell you how hot, but I can definitely tell you it's much more bearable than in Texas! We saw just about everything: lions, apes, snakes, turtles, frogs, giraffes, pandas, Mexican Wolves(woo-hoo), beavers, etc. The girls got to pet goats and donkeys. (The smell was interesting!)
We hung out at the zoo for about 4 hours or so. We left and headed towards the Washington Cathedral. What a beautiful site! I have never seen, in my life, a structure like this! I was speechless as I looked at it. I can't even begin to describe what I was looking at. It was as if I was watching the Disney movie The Hunchback of Notre Dame. That's what the cathedral reminded me of as we pulled up next to it! I couldn't help but want to go inside and take a look.
I grew up in the catholic church, and always loved the decorative designs within the church. I love how they use stained glass windows to tell stories, the statues/crucifix of Christ and saints, etc. The decor on the outside of the cathedral was enough to get my mind going on what the inside could possibly be like.
With that in mind, I couldn't resist and asked Erin if we'd get to come back around the area. She gave me the option of cancelling out one of our other trips to come back and spend more than a few mins. I was more than ready to go take something out and put the cathedral in its place, but I couldn't wait! I asked if we could just go in and take a quick look. Steve parked the van and waited while Erin, Ellie, and I went in and looked.
Walking in was an amazing site! I couldn't believe how enormous it was. I've been into the cathedral in downtown Dallas, and in Chihuahua, and I have to say, those do not compare! Just looking towards the altar was amazing! You 
could tell, all the way from the back, that there was more than just a crucifix on the wall! As a matter of fact, it wasn't a crucifix, it was simply an image of Christ sitting at the throne! But the details surrounding it, from the simple carvings to the saints, beautiful. Can you tell I loved this place?
Then there were the stained-glass windows. Oh my goodness, as Jim Carrey says in Bruce Almighty, B-E-A-UTIFUL! The colors, the design, the stories....I have run out of words! I think I'll just put the pictures up so you can see them!
We ended up at the zoo a little after noon. It was definitely a hot
day! I couldn't tell you how hot, but I can definitely tell you it's much more bearable than in Texas! We saw just about everything: lions, apes, snakes, turtles, frogs, giraffes, pandas, Mexican Wolves(woo-hoo), beavers, etc. The girls got to pet goats and donkeys. (The smell was interesting!)
We hung out at the zoo for about 4 hours or so. We left and headed towards the Washington Cathedral. What a beautiful site! I have never seen, in my life, a structure like this! I was speechless as I looked at it. I can't even begin to describe what I was looking at. It was as if I was watching the Disney movie The Hunchback of Notre Dame. That's what the cathedral reminded me of as we pulled up next to it! I couldn't help but want to go inside and take a look.
I grew up in the catholic church, and always loved the decorative designs within the church. I love how they use stained glass windows to tell stories, the statues/crucifix of Christ and saints, etc. The decor on the outside of the cathedral was enough to get my mind going on what the inside could possibly be like.
With that in mind, I couldn't resist and asked Erin if we'd get to come back around the area. She gave me the option of cancelling out one of our other trips to come back and spend more than a few mins. I was more than ready to go take something out and put the cathedral in its place, but I couldn't wait! I asked if we could just go in and take a quick look. Steve parked the van and waited while Erin, Ellie, and I went in and looked.
Walking in was an amazing site! I couldn't believe how enormous it was. I've been into the cathedral in downtown Dallas, and in Chihuahua, and I have to say, those do not compare! Just looking towards the altar was amazing! You 
could tell, all the way from the back, that there was more than just a crucifix on the wall! As a matter of fact, it wasn't a crucifix, it was simply an image of Christ sitting at the throne! But the details surrounding it, from the simple carvings to the saints, beautiful. Can you tell I loved this place?Then there were the stained-glass windows. Oh my goodness, as Jim Carrey says in Bruce Almighty, B-E-A-UTIFUL! The colors, the design, the stories....I have run out of words! I think I'll just put the pictures up so you can see them!
Then there were the other images we were able to see:
(last one is blurry, sorry)
I was amazed by something I saw within the cathedral. From what Erin said, I blieve it's the third president of the United States that is burried in the cathedral. I didn't take a picture of it because I wasn't sure about it being okay or not. It surely was okay considering all the other pictures I took. Either way, I didn't. But I found it interesting because of how our country is today with politics and religion. People in this country argue so much on the mixing of those two topics, and how they should/shouldn't be combined, yet here lays the third president of the United States! How bizarre. And not only that, but this carving in the stone wall...
This carving states, "To the glory of God and in honour of the signers of the Constitution of the United States of America." and was followed by the names of those that signed it. How crazy, don't you think?
Well, after leaving the cathedral, we went out too eat and then to Erin's house. The ride back was spectacular. All the trees....I love it!!! I will take pictures and get those up as soon as soon as possible! In the meantime, here is a picture of Erin and two of the girls, as well as some pictures I took while we were up in the air! More pictures will be coming soon!
The girls have grown so much!!!
I had tons of fun taking these pictures! I couldn't help but be reminded of God and his awesome power to create such beautiful things as clouds. You ought to lay out in the grass one day and simply look at the sky...you'll easily be reminded of the One that made not only the sky and the clouds, but you too!
"Give us 24 hrs"
Sunday was a great day, at least that's how it started. V and I arrived in Atlanta on schedule, around 5:15. She had to take the train by herself to meet her aunt and uncle. Boy was I scared, I hated for her to have to go alone, being only 13, but she made it safely. I quickly rushed to catch my second flight to Washington D.C. The flight left 30 minutes late, but amazingly arrived before schedule. Go figure.
Everything during the flights went great. We watched part of Saw II on my laptop and listened to the XM Satellite Radio. Finally seeing Erin(don't want you to get confused with the other E)and the girls was a fantastic feeling. It was great getting to see them! But then the downside of this great start began shortly...
We went to baggage claim to look for my big red suitcase, it never showed up. Several others were around, but mine didn't spin around the belt. We began to notice that only one bag was left, and it wasn't mine. Erin and I decided to go talk to the baggage claim people. Yeah, a lot of help they were! The guy didn't call anyone or ask anything to anyone from the flight. He simply started filling out a form and said, "Give us 24 hrs. to find your luggage. We'll call you when we get it." Do you know how frustrating that was, to not know where your bag is at, if it will ever make it, and you're hundreds of miles away with a short amount of money and 6 days ahead of no personal belongings next to you??? And then Erin and Steve had to decide what they were going to do. They live an hour away from the airport and didn't know if we'd have to go pick up my bag or if it would be delivered.
Needless to say, we ended up going to her parents', which don't live far from the airport. Erin and I ended up going to Wal-Mart so I could buy some clothes and essentials for the following day. I ended up spending half of my money. I never thought so much would be needed for one day! Although some of the things I bought did provide enough for three.
Well, when we got back, I called the airport and they said they'd found it. So much for them calling! Then they said, "They may deliver it tonight or tomorrow morning." It was already past 9, but they said they would. I told E & S;they offered to stay up and wait so I could get some rest. Man, as soon as I laid my head, my eyes were shut!
I woke up this morning with two voicemails. I was so tired, I slept through my loudest ring tone. What does that tell ya? Anyways, the dumb man from the night before got the street name wrong, so they couldn't deliver it. But I called them and they said they'd deliver it within a couple of hours. So it was a matter of waiting. We hung out at her parents while we waited for my bag to arrive. I took a shower (don't worry, I bought clothes to change into). As soon as I got out, here comes Erin into the room I slept in and gave me my bag!
Now I just have to go back to Wal-Mart and return everything...doubt they'll be happy! Here's the cause of my headache....
Everything during the flights went great. We watched part of Saw II on my laptop and listened to the XM Satellite Radio. Finally seeing Erin(don't want you to get confused with the other E)and the girls was a fantastic feeling. It was great getting to see them! But then the downside of this great start began shortly...
We went to baggage claim to look for my big red suitcase, it never showed up. Several others were around, but mine didn't spin around the belt. We began to notice that only one bag was left, and it wasn't mine. Erin and I decided to go talk to the baggage claim people. Yeah, a lot of help they were! The guy didn't call anyone or ask anything to anyone from the flight. He simply started filling out a form and said, "Give us 24 hrs. to find your luggage. We'll call you when we get it." Do you know how frustrating that was, to not know where your bag is at, if it will ever make it, and you're hundreds of miles away with a short amount of money and 6 days ahead of no personal belongings next to you??? And then Erin and Steve had to decide what they were going to do. They live an hour away from the airport and didn't know if we'd have to go pick up my bag or if it would be delivered.
Needless to say, we ended up going to her parents', which don't live far from the airport. Erin and I ended up going to Wal-Mart so I could buy some clothes and essentials for the following day. I ended up spending half of my money. I never thought so much would be needed for one day! Although some of the things I bought did provide enough for three.
Well, when we got back, I called the airport and they said they'd found it. So much for them calling! Then they said, "They may deliver it tonight or tomorrow morning." It was already past 9, but they said they would. I told E & S;they offered to stay up and wait so I could get some rest. Man, as soon as I laid my head, my eyes were shut!
I woke up this morning with two voicemails. I was so tired, I slept through my loudest ring tone. What does that tell ya? Anyways, the dumb man from the night before got the street name wrong, so they couldn't deliver it. But I called them and they said they'd deliver it within a couple of hours. So it was a matter of waiting. We hung out at her parents while we waited for my bag to arrive. I took a shower (don't worry, I bought clothes to change into). As soon as I got out, here comes Erin into the room I slept in and gave me my bag!
Now I just have to go back to Wal-Mart and return everything...doubt they'll be happy! Here's the cause of my headache....
Friday, May 19, 2006
Life wasted...
John Piper wrote, "The wasted life is the life without a passion for the supremacy of God in all things for the joy of all peoples." I struggled with this line in Piper's book Don't Waste Your Life. What did he mean by "a passion for the supremacy of God in all things for the joy of all peoples"? Is he saying that even in our struggles, we must understand that God is behind it all, and that we must continue to be joyful trough it all! Is he crazy?
No, he's not. I've heard my pastor say this so many times, "God is in charge of it all, and we shall boast in him with a joyful sound, even when things aren't all that great." And many times I think, "Why would anyone say such insane words!" But I have had a chance to sit back and try to understand how God bringing trials can still result in a "joyful" sound.
I have to say that it is true 100%. I recently experienced those trials that resulting in a joyful sound. For quite some time, I wasn't certain what the outcome would be of my troubles, would things end in a peaceful way, strained friendship, or no friendship at all? I have seen the outcome of that situation, and had it been maybe three years ago, I would have been angry at God for the way things ended.
I moved in with my best friend, thinking that I knew who she was. In no time, I found out that I had believed in someone that was not honest with themselves or anyone else for that matter. This caused a great deal of pain. I had believed that she was a Godly woman for the past two years. And as I begin to see and hear about the things that she did, I was dumbb-struck. I couldn't understand why God would allow her to stray away in such a manner, if she in fact did know Christ.
It ultimately came down to me being forced to look away from my feelings, my beliefs on relationship and boundaries, respect and the lack of it, and more. I had to lie and decieve people, not only in Commerce, but more importantly back home at church. I had to put up a front so that I would not bring her down. Oh the many times I wish I didn't have to cover, but I couldn't find myself to let that wall come down and let her be brought down with it.
I receached a point of depression, a point where I questioned God. I kept saying, "I'm doing what I thought you wanted, moved out and went to school. I'm trying to finish with my education. Why did this have to come up?"And I questioned it all even more the night I had to confront matter with her in which she responded with "I don't care what you or anyone else thinks. It's not on my shoulders to please anyone." and our pictures of her and me came down. That was like the final message to me that I was no one to her. I cried myself to sleep that night, after trying to run, but couldn't.
Around this time, I had met a new friend that had opened her arms and heart to my problems. She listened at every moment that I vented. She was awesome. Little did I know that this person wasn't just someone that was coming along for a few days or so, but for a season(I'd love to think that it's for a lifetime!). She ministered to me in such a way that I struggle at times to put into words. God placed in my life at a perfect time!
She reminded me that in everything, he was there. That no matter what the situation, he was part of it all. And more importantly, that everything is caused for a reason, a reason that I may not know but ultimately was for my good. I can begin to see a glimpse to that reason, or perhaps to how it was for my good, one reason or both.
In all, I lost one friendship but was blessed with another four. This is the moment in wich I make a joyful sound, because I have seen God's grace and love. Even when I turned against him, he continued to love me and bring great people into my life. I could have never imagined that these friendships would be what I would gain from my troubles. I only felt that I'd be all alone, as I felt at one point, alone. That's how visioned my last four months in Commerce. Little did I know of the blessings that were to come.
Do I belive that we should understand God's control in everything? Absolutely! He has prepared our lives even before the thought of our parents having us, and before the thought of their parents having them, and so on. When you realize what my friend, L, reminded me about everything being "for my good", one is able to appreciate the things that come and go in life.
I still have to face my problem every Sunday morning when I face my "friends'" mother at church. But I see the problem in a different way now. It is no longer with guilt in my concience of, "What could she think of me?" It's now with the thought, "God had it happen for some reason the way it did. I will not fight it anymore!" And how can I be joyful about it? Simple, look at the blessings that God brought my way. He took one friend and gave me four more. And I trust that He did it for a wonderful reason, a reason which I may not be able to know until the day that I stand before my God.
No, he's not. I've heard my pastor say this so many times, "God is in charge of it all, and we shall boast in him with a joyful sound, even when things aren't all that great." And many times I think, "Why would anyone say such insane words!" But I have had a chance to sit back and try to understand how God bringing trials can still result in a "joyful" sound.
I have to say that it is true 100%. I recently experienced those trials that resulting in a joyful sound. For quite some time, I wasn't certain what the outcome would be of my troubles, would things end in a peaceful way, strained friendship, or no friendship at all? I have seen the outcome of that situation, and had it been maybe three years ago, I would have been angry at God for the way things ended.
I moved in with my best friend, thinking that I knew who she was. In no time, I found out that I had believed in someone that was not honest with themselves or anyone else for that matter. This caused a great deal of pain. I had believed that she was a Godly woman for the past two years. And as I begin to see and hear about the things that she did, I was dumbb-struck. I couldn't understand why God would allow her to stray away in such a manner, if she in fact did know Christ.
It ultimately came down to me being forced to look away from my feelings, my beliefs on relationship and boundaries, respect and the lack of it, and more. I had to lie and decieve people, not only in Commerce, but more importantly back home at church. I had to put up a front so that I would not bring her down. Oh the many times I wish I didn't have to cover, but I couldn't find myself to let that wall come down and let her be brought down with it.
I receached a point of depression, a point where I questioned God. I kept saying, "I'm doing what I thought you wanted, moved out and went to school. I'm trying to finish with my education. Why did this have to come up?"And I questioned it all even more the night I had to confront matter with her in which she responded with "I don't care what you or anyone else thinks. It's not on my shoulders to please anyone." and our pictures of her and me came down. That was like the final message to me that I was no one to her. I cried myself to sleep that night, after trying to run, but couldn't.
Around this time, I had met a new friend that had opened her arms and heart to my problems. She listened at every moment that I vented. She was awesome. Little did I know that this person wasn't just someone that was coming along for a few days or so, but for a season(I'd love to think that it's for a lifetime!). She ministered to me in such a way that I struggle at times to put into words. God placed in my life at a perfect time!
She reminded me that in everything, he was there. That no matter what the situation, he was part of it all. And more importantly, that everything is caused for a reason, a reason that I may not know but ultimately was for my good. I can begin to see a glimpse to that reason, or perhaps to how it was for my good, one reason or both.
In all, I lost one friendship but was blessed with another four. This is the moment in wich I make a joyful sound, because I have seen God's grace and love. Even when I turned against him, he continued to love me and bring great people into my life. I could have never imagined that these friendships would be what I would gain from my troubles. I only felt that I'd be all alone, as I felt at one point, alone. That's how visioned my last four months in Commerce. Little did I know of the blessings that were to come.
Do I belive that we should understand God's control in everything? Absolutely! He has prepared our lives even before the thought of our parents having us, and before the thought of their parents having them, and so on. When you realize what my friend, L, reminded me about everything being "for my good", one is able to appreciate the things that come and go in life.
I still have to face my problem every Sunday morning when I face my "friends'" mother at church. But I see the problem in a different way now. It is no longer with guilt in my concience of, "What could she think of me?" It's now with the thought, "God had it happen for some reason the way it did. I will not fight it anymore!" And how can I be joyful about it? Simple, look at the blessings that God brought my way. He took one friend and gave me four more. And I trust that He did it for a wonderful reason, a reason which I may not be able to know until the day that I stand before my God.
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